How Did You Get Here?

I have a good friend from college named Matt, who authors a blog I enjoy (and has indicated that he intends to start posting again). Alison made an hilarious observation as to how Google Ads associates content with what it finds in the pages it sees, which got me to thinking again about the way people land on the Pop Dialectic. I have a page called Search that lists the various search terms that have ostensibly led people to my page. The page is more for my amusement maintaining than a real tourist attraction on the PD, so here is what you’d find on it:

  • popdialectic (4 times)
  • pine grove campground and waterfowl park (2 times)
  • roger rabbit (2 times)
  • fear of peacocks (2 times)
  • “the money is expensive, but…” (2 times)
  • masturbatory hyperbole (1 times)
  • super happy fun ball sunlight (1 times)
  • tv commercial want 2500 in your checking (1 times)
  • “this picture is priceless” (1 times)
  • how to get 2500 in your checking account (1 times)
  • western sky money lending (1 times)
  • native american “yes the money is expens (1 times)
  • popdialectic.wordpress (1 times)
  • downfall (1 times)
  • cash call “western sky” (1 times)
  • lysol (1 times)
  • “need $2500 in your checking account by (1 times)
  • the things they carried language (1 times)
  • the things they carried short story (1 times)
  • travel blog (1 times)
  • the downfall show (1 times)
  • downfall game show hooters (1 times)
  • “lamebook” (1 times)
  • “gooney creek campground” (1 times)
  • victoria (1 times)
  • macho clipart (1 times)
  • “gooney creek” snakes (1 times)
  • cashpoint stupid commercials (1 times)
  • 01silence.wordpress (1 times)
  • the lady who works at hooters on downfal (1 times)
  • fifa writing (1 times)
  • i sound my yawp across the rooftops of t (1 times)
  • western sky money lending native america (1 times)

I have a couple of reactions to these, with linky goodness to the things that people are finding:

After writing a post about how Native Americans are going gangster with the money-lending business, I’m a little disquieted to discover that a full 25% of the hits on my blog through search terms are by people looking for how to get $2500 in their checking account by tomorrow … or looking for anyone criticizing that provided service. I have no desire to wake up with the head of a palomino in my bed, thank you.

I’m a little disappointed that four people are googling “Downfall Hooters” and drilling so deeply into their results that they land on my humble post on the topic. Seriously? Don’t you have anything better to do? She wasn’t that hot. The Internet is all about instant gratification and you could do much better than pictures of a loser gameshow host ogling a housewife, which is all I gave you.

Tim O’Brien wrote The Things They Carried, and at least four people googling his work have landed on my site and heard what I had to say about the book. I’m glad to hope that I’ve influenced at least a few people to read him, because I thought his work was tremendous.

I’d honestly like to know how two different people ended up googling “fear of peacocks.” Sorry, but that one’s just weird. If it weren’t for the little girl watching, Alison and I would have just kicked the shit out of the birds that were coming after us. Fear of peacocks seems right up there with dreams of going to high school naked and counting spilled toothpicks. It’s all in good fun, people. But who are the people googling their petrification?

I’ve decided that two hits for Roger Rabbit is understandable. After all, that’s already the number of people in college that confessed to getting fornicationistical with themselves with that cartoon movie on. People are going to play patty cake, and there’s nothing you can do about that. Better to let it go.

“Mastubatory hyperbole” was an off-the-cuff phrase I included in my mission statement, but it remains my most favorite search phrase by which someone found my blog. Are you kidding me? You, mister, sitting in Grandma’s basement and furiously beating off the Internet … you’re my target demographic, and I love you. Make me famous, dude.

The search terms seem random? Nothing is as random as LIME KITTY!

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