Head Between Your Knees, Kiss Your Ass Goodbye

Nothing makes better “news” than the next disaster movie preview. The leak in the Gulf finally seems to have been plugged and global warming is just too slow, so it looks like the scare du jour is … wait for it … extraterrestrial warming. It’s been reported that Sunday morning, the Sun erupted with solar flares that are going to wreak all kinds of havoc on the Earth.

I think it’s fun that it was Fox news that carried the news of the coming apocalypse. Of course, if the world is actually ending, I’ll be sorry that I poked fun … or I won’t, because we’ll be all John Cusack flying planes through collapsing buildings 2012-style and no one will have time to remember that I ridiculed the neo-cons. But for the minute, I’ll enjoy observing that if there isn’t anything scary enough on Earth to boost their ratings, they’re not above resorting to the celestial.

Apparently the sun moves on regular cycles, moving from solar minimum to maximum and back to min every 11 years. The last solar maximum was in 2001, which means that the next will be next year, just in time for the shitsorm that the Mayans and whichever other loincloth-wearers predicted for our society. If you believe in the law of averages, this one may be a little extreme because the last solar max played out in baby steps. Aside from the possibility of interference with satellites, though, there doesn’t appear to be a lot of real damage predicted. And as far as the satellites are concerned, I’d ask Mr. Sun to please interrupt our regularly scheduled broadcast.

The very short term good news is that there’s supposed to be some really cool green and blue coronas around the sun as it’s setting tomorrow night. The good news over the next month or two sounds like it’s going to be good tanning weather. The great news, over the long term? No big deal, the world keeps turning.

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4 Responses to Head Between Your Knees, Kiss Your Ass Goodbye

  1. Shelby says:

    Oh, FOX. What ever will we do without you when the world ends?

  2. Carmen S says:

    Funny title. And I’m intrigued by the whole “upcoming” doomsday thing, especially when tied to the Mayan culture. There are a lot calling BS to the 2012 end-of-the-world predictions, but I’m astounded by the accuracy of the Mayan recordings of natural phenomenons.

    And by the way, the Mayans did not predict the end of the world. It’s just the end of a cycle, which no one really knows exactly what. The doomsayers are just saying it’s the apocalypse. Don’t understand what our scientists are saying.

    • popdialectic says:

      Interesting, Carmen – you’ve inspired me to do a little more reading. Mostly I thought it was fun how if it bleeds, it leads – even if it doesn’t really bleed. Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Alison says:

    Did someone say Corona? 😀

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